Claw Marks in the Frozen Peas

Bill: Ted, while I agree that, in time, our band will be most...

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 08:55:44 -0700

Bill: Ted, while I agree that, in time, our band will be most triumphant. The truth is, Wyld Stallyns will never be a super band until we have Eddie Van Halen on guitar.
Ted: Yes, Bill. But, I do not believe we will get Eddie Van Halen until we have a triumphant video.
Bill: Ted, it’s pointless to have a triumphant video before we even have decent instruments.
Ted: Well, how can we have decent instruments when we don’t really even know how to play?
Bill: That is why we NEED Eddie Van Halen!
Ted: And THAT is why we need a triumphant video.
Bill & Ted: EXCELLENT!

(via bunkercomplex)

Fuck You, Ants.

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:31:00 -0700

I came home from work with hopes of kicking off my shoes and relaxing to some Apple TV. Instead, I spent an hour destroying the largest trail of ants I’ve ever laid eyes on. Before you accuse me of being a slob, let me note two things. First, my neighbor’s home is a breeding ground for ants. Also, Summer heat and Winter rain drive these sons of bitches inward. Personally, I think my neighbor is the Pied Piper of goddamn ants. She commands all 7 billion of them through the whimsical ditties she plays on her musical pipe.

My nephew does the funniest thing when he sees ants. He squeals, then says, “I kill you, ants!” and he proceeds to slap them. A proper bitch slapping is what these micro assholes need.

Why does it have to be ants? Why can’t I come home from a long day at work to find an infestation of bears? I’d be mad to see bears making sandwiches and taking naps in my bed, but the anger would quickly turn into a strong desire to hug them all.

Pushing Daisies Season 2 Teaser

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 08:39:09 -0700

Pushing Daisies Season 2 Teaser

Photo

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 23:11:00 -0700

I like non-traditional vinyl.

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 00:10:26 -0700

I like non-traditional vinyl.

Caught with My Pants Down

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 00:09:01 -0700

All of the department heads sat down for a roundtable meeting with our new President last week. It was her first time visiting our venue, and she wanted to take the time to learn about us, and to give everyone a chance to relearn facts about each other. We took turns talking about where we came from, what we do, and we were asked to make a rhetorical wish that was either personal or professional. I sat beside the president, and really sweated having to go first. Instead, she chose to go in the opposite direction, which left me last. One by one, I watched everyone talk about how great the company is, and they all had the same (boring) wishes.

After two hours of watching everyone talk, it was finally my turn. I made some good jokes, and even had a great answer for my one wish. I also took the opportunity to express my gratitude for having a great group of coworkers, and for a pretty decent job to boot. When I started to verbalize my feelings, I started to tear up. What the hell, right? I tried to hold back, and even bit my lip in a futile attempt to stop the flow of man-tears. Nothing worked. I have several valid excuses as to why I was in such a vulnerable state, but fact is that I just don’t care enough to make any. I was embarrassed for about an hour, but I’ve come to the conclusion that we should dare to evoke more emotion.

I received my Cardboard Moose today, and I wasted no time in...

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 15:13:00 -0700

I received my Cardboard Moose today, and I wasted no time in putting it together. I think I’ll name him Pete. On a side note, everyone at work thinks I’m crazy.

Minus the Bear - Throwin’ Shapes (Daytrotter Session -...

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 12:32:01 -0700

Minus the Bear - Throwin’ Shapes (Daytrotter Session - Acoustic)

The Quirks of Photography

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 12:24:00 -0700

Third-person Point of View:
- If the photo is amazing, it must be the camera and not the photographer.

Photographer’s Point of View:
- If the photo is awful, it must be the camera and not the photographer.

I see a lot of people who look at photos and wonder what camera was used. I also see a lot of people who blame their cameras for the photos looking like crap. Fact of the matter is that credit should always go to the person making the photo whether it’s great or terrible.

40+ Tips to Improve your Grammar and Punctuation

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 12:01:00 -0700

40+ Tips to Improve your Grammar and Punctuation : Woo… we has a guide that teach us how to write good. (via danhacker)

(via bunkercomplex)

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 19:34:10 -0700

(via bunkercomplex)

Au - RR vs. D

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 18:07:21 -0700

Au - RR vs. D

Death to Rock Band

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 15:53:38 -0700

I wasn’t entirely sure before, but as of last night I’m convinced that Rock Band’s sole purpose in life is to annoy me. When Rock Band 2 and the next iteration of Guitar Hero come out, their jobs are to double that level of annoyance. As if karaoke wasn’t dumb enough, someone had to come along to create toy instruments for drunk people to play, and play terribly mind you.

Gogol Bordello - Think Locally, Fuck Globally

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 11:46:31 -0700

Gogol Bordello - Think Locally, Fuck Globally

(via joshuatuscan)

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 14:52:25 -0700

(via joshuatuscan)

"You can wash and eat lettuce in it, then pee down the drain!"

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 12:16:00 -0700

“You can wash and eat lettuce in it, then pee down the drain!”

- Syd — in reference to building me a custom shower with no home to put it in.

joshuatuscan: An Eye For Annai (via xogml69) Man, this is...

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 08:59:20 -0700

joshuatuscan:

An Eye For Annai (via xogml69)

Man, this is cute, cute, cute.

Minus the Bear - Ice Monster (Daytrotter Session - Acoustic)

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 07:04:00 -0700

Minus the Bear - Ice Monster (Daytrotter Session - Acoustic)

"they said it was cool for us to board, but they were so wrong… I’m about to spend 6..."

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 16:38:00 -0700

“they said it was cool for us to board, but they were so wrong… I’m about to spend 6 hours in a plane that smells like pussy.”

- Sara — in reference to boarding a plane that had a shipment of dead lobsters in the cargo

Photo

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 11:02:47 -0700