It's Nice to be Noticed

I’ve always had a theory that my family hardly knows I exist. Maybe they think I’m a random stranger who shows up at family gatherings to eat the food. They don’t want to be mean, so they just let me eat.

I’m constantly referred to by my brother’s name, and in more recent times, by my nephew’s name. The day someone uses my niece’s name to call for me is the day I quit this family. I have my fingers crossed, because I could really go for having a new name.

My cousin left a message for me today. She wanted to know if I can get her family into Disneyland for free. There are several issues with this. First, I haven’t worked there in over seven years. Second, she’s fully aware that I’ve graduated college and started my career. If I was still selling (dirty) frozen lemonade and hot dogs for a living, I’d hate my life a lot. Third, both she and her husband are doctors. Must be hard times for optometrists in the current economy.